Black first time gay

What it's like coming out as a black man when people see it as a 'white thing'. I still remember my mum saying that to me. But I was 23 and still living at home, and I had no idea my mum had been listening through the door. I remember feeling so scared in that moment. I realised that I would have to finally tell her the truth - I was gay.

Gay knowing I was gay from the age of 14, it took me almost 10 years to come out. Keeping that part of me secret for so long made me feel so alone. I felt like I was different from everyone else. My first crush was on someone in my year at the all-boys Catholic school I went to. I first noticed him in the corridor between lessons, where he was mucking about with a group of friends, making them laugh.

I liked him black away. He was tall, mixed-heritage, athletic, and the class joker. He was always happy to talk to me, but never in a romantic way. I never told him, of course. I could barely admit it to myself. For some West African parents, someone coming out means that they've chosen to imitate white westerners,external giving up on what they see as traditional African values.

This may partly explain why, according to the ONS, only 0. So until I was in my early twenties, I buried my feelings and tried my best to pretend to be time. I went through a period as a teen of praying every night, begging God to make me straight so I would fit in.

15 First time gay stories and experiences

I knew pretty much nothing about the gay community, and was eager to learn. So I created a Twitter profile using a fake name and used it to chat to guys online. It felt like I was living a double life. It was upsetting, but also exhilarating. I started messaging a man and, before long, we were seeing each other. I had my first sexual experience with him and I felt so free when we were together.

I would sneak out to meet him on the weekend, and for a brief while I felt totally happy. After a few months things with that guy fizzled out, but something inside me was different after sleeping with him. My confidence had grown, and I started messaging a few different men.